Today I ran the Army 10-miler. It was amazing. Imagine 26,000 kamikazes of the human spirit flying across a finish line. OK, you’re right. Not every runner was flying across the finish line. Some runners were crawling. Some were dancing. Some were drooling. Some were rolling. And quite a few were mumbling something like, “Just a few more steps… Just a few more steps… dumb mother[F]ucker… what the hell was I thinking?”
But I’m not that runner. When I race I turn into a blunt with running shoes. As soon as a race starts, within a mile, I’m rolling. I’m in the zone. Everything is good. I see things from a completely different perspective. Unlike the mumbling mentioned above, I find myself mumbling variations of, “Whoa man, that is just sooooo beautiful!” And I’m not just talking about sexy female runners. I’m also talking about the early morning sun, the strange things runners wear, the seemingly random appearance of port-o-potties, the peculiar things spectators say, the generosity exhibited by people racing, the crunching of water cups, the random appearance of road kill, the undulating waves of large groups of people running, the time clocks, and the process of playing chess with runners as you move through crowded roads. Like I said, I turn into a blunt with running shoes.
But you know, now I’m burnt, so it is time to indulge in some cupcakes, beer, and steak!
I’m impressed. When I run it’s usually either to catch the bus or to flee a mob of adoring fans. If I’m doing it for fitness-related reasons, I’m probably drunk. I most definitely turn into one of those people who’s trying not to cry and/or vomit. For these and other reasons, I prefer swimming.
Can I just do the post-race diet?
Seriously, if I ever have to run 10 miles, I’m just calling in to work sick.
You know I don’t exercise, so I don’t relate to that part, but I love, love, love cheering on our friend in his races. We grab huge cups of coffee and race around town (in the car nonetheless) to each of the spots where we’d be most likely to see him and then usually make it to the finish line before he does. It is very, very much fun! I hope you have a good cheering section! If you need one, let me know, I’ll drive over. hahahaha!
Oh, but I DID say to my cheering partner as a woman was running by in a running skirt, that I would be MUCH more likely to exercise if I had a skirt like that and she turned to me and said, “By God, I think you WOULD!”
… smooshed bugs on the pavement, planes flying overhead, the buzz of power lines… hey whatever it takes to distract yourself from remembering that you’re running… congrats on getting it done! bet that was a damn good beer and a steak you had!
If you ever need a trainer, please give me a call. By trainer, I of course mean the person who cheers you on from right beside you driving a golf-cart and shares the delightful choice of after-food.
If you ever take up biking, we can make an ever more solid arrangement of me tagging along with you via this lovely baby:
http://riverfrontcycle.com/images/library/site/cc_sidecarrier_05_p.jpg
Congrats. I’m running half that distance in less than a month, an 8K race for which I am woefully under-trained and unprepared.
Still, looking forward to checking out the chicks with running skirts on.
Love that picture. It brings back so many Simpson-riffic memories.
Congrats on the run… a 10 miler is no joke. PS: Mmmmmmmm, cupcakes.
Aine – the thing about swimming, I feel guilty when I drink and swim. The possibility of passing out in an ocean/pool seems a bit extreme when you can easily pass out on a comfortable asphalt bed.
t2ed – You could always just run to work… problem solved.
k8 – Yes, yes, yes! The racing world needs more cheering spectators… y’all make pounding the pavement more interesting. Might I suggest dressing up in costumes next time?
Charlotte – seriously, speaking of smooshed bugs, I’ve never seen more roadkill during a road race. You name your small rodent, bird, or mammal, and it was there
Katie – as long as you keep me hydrated with beer, this can be arranged
Arjewtino – Awesome! And those skirts will provide sufficient motivation.
LivitLuvit – Cupcakes and chocolates are my (now not so secret) motivational techniques for certain athletes who don’t enjoy booze
I only run when chased.
GreenCanary – Depending on your pace, that means you could have had between approximately 1 and 18,000 people chasing you…
You’re awesome! I’m always in awe of people who can run for multiple miles at a time.
Zandria – Thanks… You should promote the idea of a BlogHer Army 10-miler team next year…