006. Sitting in a receiving area littered with old magazines I wait for my name to be called.
“Mr. [F]oxymoron? Mr. [F]oxymoron… nice to meet you. I’m [J]abber Extraordinaire.”
In a private office I’m thoroughly questioned. Where are you going? How long? What will you be doing? What is the square root of safety?
I quickly answer every question. The yellow fever jab is the sharp pain I’m looking for. This glorious jab will put the icing on the cake, the anti in antibodies, and the necessary ink on my travel documentation. I wait…
We discuss malaria for ten minutes. Typhoid, five minutes. Yellow Fever, five more minutes. Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and Japanese Encephalitis are all crammed into six minutes. We then discuss Traveler’s Diarrhea* for another five minutes. I’ve never had a more serious talk full of shit.
Finally, shock doctrine is turned into shot doctrine. I’m jabbed. My departure date is now fast approaching – and I can feel it.
* It appears all my destinations are located in the Diarrhea Belt. I’m now glad I wrote an eleven page paper on Traveler’s Diarrhea for that Bio class.
” It appears all my destinations are located in the Diarrhea Belt”
Funny.
The travel will be worth the half an hour of bullshit. Btw.. India being a high risk diarrhea region is news to me
So where are you headed?
Jason – I wonder if it has the same appeal to retirees?
Natasha – Swing over to the Irreverence 151 page and scroll down for a more detailed map of my (hopefully) stops in India… any advice is more than welcome
Diarrhea fun!
I’m so envious that you’ll be enjoying India soon while I’m slaving away with school and work.
I thought the Diarrhea Belt was in the Bible belt.
I’m heading to Guatemala tomorrow and just decided to check the CDC travel vaccine site last week. Decide to go ahead and take the risk that I’m not going to catch anything. It’s probably the last dumb decision I’ll ever be able to make…
Glad to see I’m also heading into the, ahem, red belt.
Mila – but that school and work will soon pay for your own travels!
t2ed – … no comment… [smirking]
Sarah – runners have an uncanny ability to charm even the most diabolical diarrhea parasite/bacteria, so I think you’ll be ok
Hey, I feel your pain with all the shots – I especially liked my poop speech that was soon folllowed by – why would you want to go there? and, watch out for terrorists! She said nothing about the dangers of taxis. How come you didn’t need the menegitas shot? That was another fun one. Don’t forget – don’t touch the water!
Any questions about living in a third world country can be directed this way. Oh, and watch out for street dogs and rabies! 
Mary – ha, i’ve had my fair share of rabid dog stories… we should exchange stories about that one. And I can’t believe you shot doc told you to watch out for terrorists!
The doctor work for is from Pakistan and in fact, his wife just left for there last Friday, riding a brand new double decker plane equipped with seats that fully recline, lounges, showers, it’s a veritable hotel. And the ticket was the SAME as the normal international flight. No joke.
The good doctor got back from India several months ago after doing Cleft Lip and Palate surgery nonstop for ten days. He says that the villages along the sides of the road are the most fascinating. People just set up their house wherever they want to. Now if my neighbors put a tent up in my driveway, I might be a little pissed.
k8 – I need the name of that airline! I’m sure I’ll see things such as that in India, but if like you, I saw them in my own hood, I’d probably be worried and pissed at the same time.
running to the Irreverence 151 page to find out the "why" of the travelling…
I’ve never travelled anywhere that I needed innoculations of any kind. I also tend to shun things like Band-Aids and cough syrup, holding to the maxim “heal thyself”. This, of course, would explain that strange 48-hour haze that almost killed me on the way back from the Roman forum…
http://hep-kitten3.blogspot.com/2008/02/fuhgedaboudid-i-think-its-safe-to-say.html
Aine – that is crazy… do you think that’d happen here in DC? Somebody running off in the American equivalent of the scooter… an SUV?
twinkie – be forewarned, you may leave with more unanswered “why’s” !