Before moving on to the apocalypse known as DatingLand, here are my thoughts – as an average man – on camping. If you’d like to see the original comment (below) in context, visit this post.
I think of camping as an opportunity to drink overpriced microbrews IN THE WILD (where nubile nymphs and goddesses erotically engage the grandeur of nature… as opposed to a stripper’s pole in some raunchy club), play fetch with bears instead of dogs, and taunt all the mountain cougars with my young, lithe, profoundly tempting flesh.
Am I average? My mind doesn’t do that kind of math. Instead, I like to think of myself as awkward, lazy, and more than willing to let others do some funky calculus.
I love camping. In fact, I’ve even gone back country camping alone, running into black bears of all fearful shapes and sizes. My heart beat the hell out of me the first time I ran into a bear. The second and third times I was much more blaise about it. I was just scared shitless. These days I’m simply humbled by my sense of frailty and vulnerability. Om. Yes, camping is, however you do it, awesome!
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Welcome back. This weekend during brunch, not in the lest bit hungover or tired, and inspired by Zombieland’s rules for surviving a zombie apocalypse, I decided it’d be wise to do something similar for DatingLand. We like lists. We like rules (often, just to break ‘em). So why not?
This is what I’ve got thus far. Feel free to contribute…
Rule #5 – No sexting before sex
Rule #23 – Don’t imitate animals
Rule #24 – Except for doggy style
As you can see, there’s still a lot of work to be done!
No sexting before sex? Not even flirting/teasing?
…never said anything about not flirting/teasing!!!
DCPrincess´s last blog ..Awkward.
I SO want to watch Zombieland again!
Mmm.
#1 Practice good hygiene – this should go without saying but HAVE YOU SMELLED SOME PEOPLE? Ew.
so you’re saying some dates are zombies in both spirit and stank?
sleepyjane´s last blog ..The weekend and a tattoo
Oh and I also need to add that adhering to rule #1 much increases the chance of #24 happening.
Cardio!?!
sleepyjane´s last blog ..The weekend and a tattoo
I am a dating failure, so I have nothing to add. YOu read about my last date. For all he knew, I WAS a zombie – as fascinated as I was with the Bubonic Plauge and the fact that I couldn't shut up about it.
Indeed, I did read about that. I'd say you're just a passionate person!
k8´s last blog ..Cheese! Glorious Cheese!
always make sure to feed your date
Agreed. The question is what? Brains? Temptation? Tapas?
Brett´s last blog ..Trapper Keeper
I agree with those rules hardcore… Sexting before sex just sets up the actual event for potential disaster. Where’s the rule about sex on the first date? Shouldn’t that have made the list? I mean, not that it’s a rule I keep, but just saying.
That’s only a rule if a person needs that to be a rule. Om.
MinD´s last blog ..37 years.
Totally agree with MinD about setting up for potential disaster. Good rule. I will remember to adhere to it… maybe.
Ha! Rules are meant to be… continually reassessed!
Ari´s last blog ..365 Days of Danbo: the seriously extended edition
Rule #1- Always bring some extra undies. Wait! Rules for camping?
I don’t even want to know what kind of dating you do!