005. Internet, you are now witness to the long awaited transaction that, on October 30th 2008, will suspend me thousands of feet in the air in a hazy, nervous anticipation. I’m almost certain I’ll be seated next to a cantankerous child, or possibly, an overworked suit drooling under a bevy of staccato snoring. But this is all OK. I’ll finally be on my way to India.
So bring it. Deep vein thrombosis? No problem. I’ll drink enough to keep me continuously running to cramped lavatories. That obnoxious child (or ignorant adult) that keeps kicking my seat? No problem. I’ll drink just enough to justify dropping my drink on them as I run to the lavatory. That psychologically unbalanced passenger that somehow manages to tie together Kegel exercises, Bill O’Reilly, and Hamburglar? No problem. I’ll drink enough so that, you know, it begins to make sense.
Or I could have purchased a red eye flight.
Bring earplugs and lots and lots of reading material. And don’t forget to take a ton of pictures and annoy us with your massive photo album!
Definitely! I plan on devouring War & Peace, so I’ll need those earplugs when I fall asleep.
Sounds really cool! Bring emergen-C or Airborne or something like that. On my flight to Europe there was a man that had a cold or something sitting right by me. He kept trying to talk to me and would cough and then want me to pick up a dropped magazine or something, gross. I almost wanted to snort emergen-c after for fear that this messy, slobbering man would ruin my trip. My fiance wouldn't let me and calmly reassured me that you could drink it with the same effects.
I'm just saying, come prepared.
If only I had a private jet… then this would never be a problem. (I'm bringing a small bottle of hand sanitizer, but I'd hate to have to dump it on a passenger on my flight to India!)